The "I GET to" moment

This week wasn’t about performance, it was about perspective.

Earlier this week, a blizzard hit NYC. I was looking out the window with my husband, watching the snow build up, but all I could think about was the 8 miles that were on my half-marathon training agenda for the day.

"I have to run 8 miles on the treadmill today, how am I going to run that much?!" 8 miles was my longest ever and it felt so heavy before I'd even started! 

I was thinking, “I have to do this". I kept trying to prep myself up in my head. Instead, the absurdity of it came knocking.

A blizzard is hitting the city and my primary concern is treadmill mileage?! People are worrying about much bigger things! & that’s when it shifted for me. From “I have to run 8 miles" to "I get to run 8 miles". 

I get to worry about art and miles! That realization wasn’t motivational. Nope! It was grounding. I get to. & that shift changed my run mindset, at least I felt like I could attempt it.

The treadmill still demanded 1 hr 40 mins. The last 2 miles felt like someone had stuffed lead in my ankles. There was no cinematic breakthrough moment of course, but I finished the 8 miles. The longest I had ever run.

The rollercoaster moments of my marathon training were mirrored in my creative pursuit too. 

Earlier in the week, I was in an absolute creative surge, the momentum was flowing easily! And then before I knew it, that momentum dipped & I found myself repeating, “I have to keep painting, I have to keep up if I need to finish an entirely new collection for the Art Fair”

Honestly, it’s interesting how often “have to” drives me! But “have to” often carries tension. & no I am not about toxic positivity, I’m not pretending soreness doesn’t exist or that creative dips are romantic.

The glute still needs monitoring. The paintings still require discipline when inspiration fades. But that perspective of "get to", it helps regulate pressure.

And with that my Runnaisance keeps running!